Everything in our universe grows. Trees, flowers and every living thing grows in one way or another. Even though we may not realize it, our family and loved ones are always growing, too. We may not want to see it because we’re holding onto who they were in the past. By not letting go of past actions, we do not see them for who they are now, which can actually cause a lot of pain.
When you limit others, they cannot grow—but it also stops you from growing. Imagine if one of your loved ones acted the exact same way throughout your whole life. How boring! You would never want your relationship to change. This is exactly why we need to give our loved ones the space to grow instead of trying to hold them inside a little box.
What is this box that we hold people in? It’s the one that says we always want to be right about our beliefs. It’s based in ego, fear and our lack of faith in others. In order for us to change, we need to believe in others’ ability to transcend. We have to look at ourselves with an open, honest, objective point of view—and to see ourselves from a distance, to witness who we are in the present moment.
If we choose to keep others in certain dimensions, we will feel the same way about them, and in turn, feel the same about ourselves. It would be hurtful to tell a loved one, “I don’t want you in my life anymore because you are not growing.” For us to be happy, we need to let go of the past and look at who these people are now, and hold that vision, so we give them space to grow. It’s kind of like you’re taking a box that was really small and expanding it until it’s so big that you don’t even realize it’s there. That gives them all the space they need to grow. We need to see the unlimited potential in others and look deeper than what’s right in front of us.
We can never really understand another person, because they’re always going to be growing, changing and evolving. If we keep that in mind, we will be able to see their evolution and experience it within ourselves as well. I’m not saying to put up with those who hurt you, but if you give people a chance, by looking at them from their higher perspective and who they can become, you will help them to grow. Focus on the traits you admire most about a person, and those same traits will expand and grow. Whatever you put energy and love into will grow. When you water a flower or a plant, it grows; if you don’t water it, it dies. It cannot grow without water, and if it can’t grow, it can’t live.
Everyone grows at the pace that they need to. If we allow growth to happen in ourselves and others, we will all evolve. I know this is possible for everyone, and I know this is possible for you! The first thing you can do is acknowledge that people are always going to change—be ready for something different at any moment. Second, realize that just because they’re not growing at the pace that you want them to, it doesn’t mean they’re not growing.
Third, if you want to live in an evolutionary world, you must grow and evolve. Change your perception of the world! If you have a belief about someone, see if you can change it and think differently about them. Do the same for yourself—look at yourself in a different way and decide who you want to be. Maybe you’ll see that you, too, are growing.
Fourth, always remember that we’re all here to support one another, and the more space, time and freedom we give each person, the happier and healthier we will be. I know you can do it and I believe in you. You see? Right there—you are growing!
About the Author — Shaman Durek is a Los Angeles based spiritual guide and gifted healer. As a Shaman, Durek acts as mediator or “bridge” between the spiritual and physical planes, and applies ancient spiritual wisdom, coupled with decades of devoted study and practice, to help bring success, happiness and healing into clients’ lives. Follow him on Twitter @shamandurek or check his website http://www.shamandurek.com